There must be a scientific reason why babies are so adorable. If a kid is as cute as a button, when a parent is at the end of their wits, they can look at their child and have their heart melt. Not all kids come out of the womb looking like a perfect starry-eyed baby though.
These babies came out looking like used car salesmen and tax collectors. They have a serious case of Benjamin Button syndrome that is freaking us out. Yes, they’re cute in their own way, but they also look like they’ll get mad if you adjust the thermostat or forget to take the chicken out of the freezer.
“Fugget About It”
This baby looks like he’s about to make you an offer that you can’t possibly refuse. We wouldn’t be surprised if this little kid is a secret kingpin of the local mob.
Any nurse handling this little one in the hospital should make sure they don’t get on their bad side since revenge is a dish best served cold.
Is That Vladimir Putin?
Even the man holding this Vladimir Putin-looking baby is a little unsure. Everyone knows that one wrong word and the Russian President can ruin your life.
This man’s probably terrified that if he waits one minute too long to change this baby’s diaper, his entire family will be banished to Siberia.
The Hat And Cardigan Doesn’t Exactly Help
If your child comes out of the womb looking old already, it probably isn’t a good idea to dress them in clothes that make them look even older.
This baby looks like it owns a newspaper route in the 1800s. Extra! Extra! Read all about it! Baby born looking like they’re eighty years old!
There’s a 99% Chance This Is Danny DeVito
Usually when people say “look at the head of hair on this kid!” they’re talking about how beautiful it is, not that it’s a mess of long frizzy strands and a receding hairline.
This baby looks a little too much like Danny DeVito. Give them a few months and they’ll be as tall as DeVito too.
Just Contemplating Life In A Mini Camping Chair
Going out and enjoying the great outdoors is a classic dad move. This baby looks like he’s had three kids of his own and is finally getting some peace and quiet after chopping wood for an hour straight.
He’ll snap out of his funk though once his friends come up and they roast a couple of hot dogs around the fire.
Gordon Ramsay, Is That You?
This miniature version of the famous chef Gordon Ramsay has us a little confused. When working with adults, Ramsay is a complete jerk who yells and screams. But his softer side comes out when kids are on the cooking show.
Does this baby Ramsay yell and scream at the top of his lungs constantly or does he have a softer touch? Our money is on the first option.
“You Shall Not Pass!”
Is this a newborn baby or Gandalf the White? If this baby attracts the attention of several adventuring Hobbits and is the mortal enemy of Sauron, then you have a wizard on your hands.
Ian McKellen would be proud to see his character living on again in a second lifetime.
Aretha Franklin Has Been Reincarnated
It was only in 2018 when the world lost one of the greatest singers, songwriters, and civil rights activists. Luckily, the Queen of Soul has managed to reincarnate herself in this baby.
Not only does this baby look just like Aretha Franklin in her forties but we can’t wait to hear their pipes.
They’ve Perfected The Judgemental Neighbor Glare
Only a baby who came out of the womb as a middle-aged man would be able to perfectly execute this judgemental look.
This is the same face your dad made whenever the neighbor left tree trimmings on his lawn or when someone uses your driveway to turn around. Get off my property!
A Hairline That Any 40-Year-Old Man Would Envy
If we chose to ignore the triple chin that only comes with age, we can discuss how this poor baby is destined to have a receding hairline.
It’s not going to be easy for his parents to tell him when he’s a teenager that in a few short years, he’s about to look like a middle-aged stockbroker.
Born Just In Time For His 80th Birthday
Only fifteen minutes old and this baby is already sick and tired of the world. This baby looks like they’ve spent years witnessing millennials ruin all his favorite things.
First, they ruin his favorite breastaurant, Hooters, and now they charge $6 for mashed avocado? This old baby doesn’t have the time or energy to deal with us anymore.
One Month Old Or One Month Away From Retirement?
This baby looks like every one of us counting down the last hour before it’s time to leave work and go home. Playing with blocks and LEGO every single day from 9-5 isn’t easy.
Office desk jobs can be demotivating, but luckily, this old baby looks like he’s only a few months away from retiring.
Winston Churchill Looking Over War Plans, Colorized
It might not seem like it, but this is a rare image of the British Prime Minister from World War Two, Winston Churchill. He woke up in the middle of the night still in his jammies to find out his troops just lost a battle.
All this old baby is missing to perfect the shot is a top hat and cigar.
This Baby Is Inconceivable!
This baby looks a little too much like actor Wallace Shawn. If Shawn needed an understudy for his most memorable role in The Princess Bride, this little kid would be the number one choice.
Once this baby learns how to say “mama” and “dada” then it won’t be long until they can say “Inconceivable!”
This Kid Has Seen Some Stuff In His Lifetime
This toddler looks like he’s sitting waiting for his teenage daughter to come home after curfew. He’s ready to give her his best “I’m not mad, I’m disappointed” speech.
Then he’ll follow it up with a “when I was your age” rant about walking uphill both ways on his way to and from school and fighting in Vietnam.
Life Is Hard When You Can’t Find Your Dentures
Yes, we know that most babies are born without teeth and don’t get them until they’re a few months old, but this baby looks like he may never have a full set of teeth.
It’s probably best for him to just accept reality and get fitted for a set of baby dentures ASAP.
So… When Is Breakfast?
This kid might be waiting for breakfast, but he looks more like a disappointed principal who is about to dish out weeks of detention.
Other kids might start food fights from their high chairs, but this little one makes sure everyone feels the consequences of their actions. Don’t even think about crossing this baby.
When The Landlord Evicts You From The Womb Without Notice
We’ve all had a moment in our lives where we look and feel just like this baby. It’s the face you make when the landlord evicts you without notice or when the grocery store tries to charge you twice for apple juice.
This old baby isn’t taking any of it though. I’m intimidating just looking at her.
This Kid Could Sell Me A Used Car No Problem
What do you get when you combine Kevin from The Office and a used car salesman? This old baby. That smirk proves he knows he’s got the gift of gab.
We bet this old baby could sell ice to a polar bear. Fine, take our money. $8,000 is definitely worth this tin can on wheels.
Some Old Men Can Only Dream For Eyebrows Like This
Old men spend years just trying to achieve this level of angry eyebrows. Dads will furrow their brows for years, even decades, in the hopes of gaining this permanently disappointed look.
This old baby is blessed to have come out of the womb with an air of judgment. Even his own father is jealous.
This Baby Has Spent Way Too Long Working Retail
Anyone out there who has spent at least two Christmas seasons working in a retail store in the mall will know this look all too well.
It’s the look you give a customer when a barcode doesn’t scan right away and they immediately say, “Oh, it must be free then!”
When You Wake Up And Realize It’s Monday
This poor baby is getting its first taste of a Monday, and unfortunately, it’s also their first day in the world. We can’t imagine anything worse than being born on the day the world collectively hates the most.
Maybe this old baby will grow up to become one of the few people who doesn’t get the Monday blues.
“What Do You Mean I Have To Go Look Cute For A Crowd?”
It looks like this old baby isn’t exactly happy about his new living arrangements. At the hospital, he had everyone on the entire floor’s undivided attention.
Now that his parents have taken him home, he’ll have to compete with his older sister and the family dog for attention. We wouldn’t be happy either.
Is It A Baby Or The Mandrake From Harry Potter?
This baby looks a little too much like the crying mandrake plants from Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. As a little reminder, they’re the plants that look like wrinkly babies and that scream so loud they can make you faint.
We don’t even want to know how loud this old baby can scream.
The Dark Side Of The Force Is Strong With This One
We’re sure this portrait was meant to capture an adorable moment and look almost angelic. Unfortunately, this baby ended up looking more like Emperor Palpatine from Star Wars.
It looks like the rebel forces just landed on the Death Star and he’s trying to figure out which low-level officer to throw against the wall using the Force.
The Moment You Realize Santa Claus Isn’t Real
This old baby is stuck in a time warp. One the one hand, he looks like he’s a 45-year-old stockbroker who works too much and doesn’t spend enough time with his kids and wife.
On the other hand, he also looks like someone just told him Santa Claus is made up and that the gifts are just from mom.
He Can Hardly Believe It’s Already His 50th Birthday
If we were this kid, we would also be in shock and awe that after only a few months in the world, he’s already turning the big 5-0.
Half a century flies by when you’re busy staring at the walls, learning how to fall asleep on your own, and realizing you have hands.
Rare Photo Of Julian Assange As A Baby
This bleach blonde baby looks a little too much like Wikileaks founder Julian Assange. In fact, this picture could ruin Assange’s image.
Right now, Assange is an international terrorist with the ability to leak disastrous information about anyone. This photo makes him look innocent and as cute as a button.
Destined To Be A Targaryen
This baby with albinism might look like an old man at first, but we think he’s more likely the child of the Mother of Dragons, Daenerys Targaryen.
Whether he’s five months old or fifty years old, he needs to learn quickly how to play the game of thrones. As we know, you either win or you die.
He Looks Like Your Goofy Drunk Uncle
This old baby looks a little too much like your Uncle Brian who only ever shows up to family Christmas but is still the life of the party.
He’s the one who spends the entire year thinking of the perfect joke for when mom overcooks the turkey. He’s also the one who delivers custom sound effects with every punchline.