15 Ways In Which Sex Is Really Unsexy

One word- queefing.

I know it may feel like many moons ago now- but can you remember what you imagined sex would be like before you did it for the first time? Movies and TV had led us to believe that it was the most serious and romantic thing in the world. We were expecting candlelit rooms, rose petals, a playlist of cheesy love songs- even a Sex and The City style lowdown with your girlfriends the next day explaining every amazing detail of the unforgettable event. What they didn’t show us however- was a naked man scrambling through his sock draw desperately trying to find a condom or you thrashing around like an erratic seal because you’ve got cramp in both legs.

Let’s be honest, all of that rom-com stuff is miles away from what we all go through during our average bedroom antics. Our experience of sex changes as we get older- especially if we’re in a long term relationship. So, we’re here to give you the unedited, undignified version of sex- the one which will hopefully make you laugh but also throw up a bit in your mouth.

1) Accidentally Giving Yourself Concussion

Whacking your head against a headboard has to be in the top three most annoying pains you can ever endure (stepping on a plug is number one, obviously). You’re trying your hardest to be a seductive, desirable sex goddess but instead you end up looking like an awkward, clumsy oaf.