What would we do without grandparents? Well, we wouldn’t be alive, so that’s a start. You can basically live off of their generosity and wisdom until you’re an adult. One of the best parts about old people is that they tend to lose their filter in their 40s and end up saying some crazy stuff.
It’s not often that grandchildren take the brunt of this savagery, but in this article they absolutely do. There is absolutely no chill in these sassy seniors and it’s the only article you’ll need to read today.
This Is Going To Be Hard To Recover From
Okay, so first I’m going to start with a defense of this granddaughter— there are a lot of reasons to want to be Kylie Jenner. She’s about to be the youngest billionaire in the world. But, you basically have to be a celebrity to be able to pull off blue hair.
This granny and grandpa are old school and they’re just calling it like they see it. It’d be hard to recover from being called ugly by your grandma.
The Perfect Amount Of Excitement
Let’s be honest, if you’re a grandpa and this is your fifth grandchild, this isn’t all that exciting. This reply is perfect because he’s acknowledging that he’s happy the baby is out, but not all that pumped for the next few years.
Look, he’s not wrong for being mad at the fact that he has to put up with another baby for at least the first 18 years. Babies aren’t fun. They just cry and fart, sorry.
You Gotta Work For It
This grandma is just teaching her grandchildren that they have to work for their $100. If you think that calling once a year and barely acknowledging that they exist is just going to get you into the will, you’re VERY wrong.
Hopefully, this will make her grandchildren realize that they have to put in the work for their relationship and that it will end up paying off in some big dollar bills.
Yell It From The Back Grandma!
We’ve all been in this situation or seen someone in a situation like this before. Someone in your family has a boyfriend or girlfriend that the family doesn’t like. You don’t want to tell them because you don’t want to be the one to break them up.
That is, until now. Grandma Elaine has decided that she is going to boo every picture of the unwanted couple and my guess is that it’s going to work in their plan to separate the two.
Grandma Only Wants The Best
You’ll notice after about twenty minutes talking food with your GPs that they have very picky tastes in weird things. Like, they’ll eat a McDonald’s hamburger, but if their mushrooms aren’t picked straight from Lithuanian soil, they won’t bother.
This grandma, Jo Ann, has had enough of Green Giant and their filthy celery. She’s not interested in their apologies either which makes her even more savage. We need more Grandma Jo’s in the world.
The “Hip” Grandma
You know how it’s weird when your parents pretend that they’re “hip” with the language that the “kids” (usually late teenagers) are using? Well, this is a grandma who not only says she’s up-to-date on her lingo, but walks the walk and dresses like it too.
This grandma looks like she’s about to steal your girl and not give it a second thought. To say that she glo’d up would be an understatement.
He’s A Walking Meme
Can we just talk about the thought of turning 100 years old? Imagine living for a full century. At this rate, most of us aren’t even going to make it past our 40s if these Tide-Pod challenges continue to be popular.
This grandpa looks like he’s also going to steal your girl at the club. He looks like every frat guy you’ve ever seen in your life which is astonishing considering he probably went to school with Jesus or something.
Left On Read
Not going to lie, it’s one thing to get left on read by your crush — that’s heartbreaking. It’s a completely different level of devastation when your own grandma reads your happy birthday message and doesn’t think that it’s worthy enough to reply to.
When grandma starts to have better things to do than reply to your messages, it’s going to be a very dark day. Let’s not take our GPs for granted.
Passive Aggressive Grandma
This is one way to walk the line of trying to be very complimentary, but also get your critiques in low-key. This GP (grandparent) started out by complimenting the prom dress, which is a great place to start considering that’s all girls care about.
She followed that up with a hard jab about the lack of clothing on the top of her dress which would sting. But, she caught herself and said that her GD (granddaughter) was looking fly in it. All around a masterpiece post.
“Get Friends Sweetie”
The intervention always starts in this kind of playful way. First, it’s a Facebook comment from grandpa telling you that your social life is very sad to look at.
Then, it’s a sit-down dinner conversation over some homemade macaroni and cheese. GPs will start inviting you to their social outings trying to get you to at least look like you have some friends. At the end of the day, they’re just looking out for you.
“I’m Beginning To Wonder About Her”
Out of everyone, grandparents worry the most about your boyfriend/girlfriend situation. If you come to Thanksgiving dinner without a significant other for more than three years you can rest assured that they think you’re either a lost cause romantically, or that you’re just confused.
This granny just straight up calls out her granddaughter on Facebook. This is one of the most savage responses you could’ve had and it’s amazing.
Well, She’s Not Wrong
Nana is just looking out for her GD here. She’s not wrong either. You’ve probably never seen what your pouty face looks like, but let me tell you that it doesn’t look pleasing.
The stock pout face looks like you haven’t been able to go to the bathroom in four days. You don’t want to be putting that pouty face on Facebook when you have your Nana checking on your every move.
Shots Fired, Judy
You have to hand it to grandma on this one. As much as I want to say that she has some serious balls for posting this, my guess is that she lost every “care” about how teenagers think of her decades ago.
Let’s just hope that Ashley was able to somehow rebuild the friendship with the girl in her picture. Something tells me that it’s going to be an uphill battle when you get called ugly by your friend’s grandma.
Oof! Here’s Some Kleenex
Some grandparents will just lie about your appearance. They’ll tell you that you look good when you look like trash and, honestly, it’s not all that helpful.
If you want your grandchildren to clean up their act, you need to tell them the truth. Trash is trash even if it’s carrying your bloodline. Apparently, grandma doesn’t like this picture, which is pretty savage but it’s good to have high expectations for your family.
This grandma has cracked the code. The reason that so many grandchildren end up losing contact with their grandparents is because they feel like they’re irreplaceable. It’s not like your GPs are going to be going out and getting a new grandson anytime soon.
Oh wait, yes they are. This is an iconic way to get your GC to start calling and hugging you more often. It’s a truly bulletproof idea.
Set That Phone Alarm
In young people’s defense ( I know I’m defending people a lot), no one needs to remember birthdays like they used to. I don’t even know my mom’s birthday, but when it comes up on Facebook I get the reminder.
GPs have to realize that we just don’t use the memory portion of our brains because we don’t need to. With that being said, you should probably set an alarm on the day so that you at least remember your grandma’s because she does care.
Fix That Mop
Grandparents have no problem talking about your hair in the most derogatory way possible. It’s almost as if they all didn’t live through the 70s or 80s when everyone’s hair looked like a New York City sewer rat.
Eric Cooper’s hair when he was in high school probably looked like he’d eat some crumbs of bread off of the bathroom floor without hesitation. Don’t let the haters make you shave your mop, Michael.
Reminding You Of The Competition
This is hilarious. The grandma has a picture of her and her first boyfriend sitting in their living room to remind her husband that she can be happy with other people too if he doesn’t treat her right.
This is a savage move, but it seems to have worked out for both of them seeing as they have remained together through it all. Just a reminder of the competition that’s out there.
The Crop Job
This grandma finally accepted her grandson’s friend request on Facebook and then cropped him out of her profile picture. At least she’s being honest with this one. She is feeling this picture of herself and wants all of the attention for herself and doesn’t want it taken away by her grandson.
It’s nice to know that posting pictures that you look good in and your friends don’t will last until old age.
Called Out By Grandpa
This is what happens when you keep ghosting your grandpa’s calls when he wants you to come to bingo with him. All he asks is that you tell him “no” to his face, and any grandkid knows that it’s impossible to do that.
This grandpa isn’t having any of it. He’s calling balls and strikes the way they need to be called. This guy thinks his grandson is a coward, but telling your grandpa you don’t want to go to bingo with him isn’t going to happen.