These Brutal Pregnancy Announcements Should Have Been Kept Quiet

Finding out you’re pregnant is (usually) wonderful. These couples were super excited to share their happy news with family and friends. Announcing your pregnancy on social media is a good way to notify lots of people about major life events, but if you don’t go about it the right way, it can be painfully tacky.

These couples should have stuck to the traditional sonogram picture and some fancy text. Read ahead for the most overused rap lyric in pregnancy announcement history, and siblings who are less than thrilled to be sharing their parents.

Batter Up!

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Photo Credit: Jordaninreserve / Reddit

This idea is nice in theory, I guess, but I don’t think they fully thought through this scenario. That baseball painted on her stomach may as well be a target.

If they were set on the baseball theme, he could have gone with a catcher’s mitt instead.

Kid’s Moving Out, Baby’s Moving In

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Photo Credit: hopehelvete / Reddit

Sorry kid, I know it’s been nice being the only apple of your parents’ eye, but you’ve been downgraded to banana status. They’ve got to make room for a smaller version of you: you 2.0.

Is this announcement kind of clever? Yeah. Do we need to see your angel’s screaming face? I’d rather not.

Setting A Good Example

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Photo Credit: iBleedorange / Reddit

Haha, I get it. She can’t drink so they’re going to make light of his occasional overdrinking.

That’s all well and good but what happens when occasional overdrinking becomes a full-blown alcohol problem, and he becomes a detached father who can’t support his family? Am I projecting? Keep reading for a real classy pregnancy announcement. Just kidding. None of these are classy.

A Collage Of Horrors

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Photo Credit: JohnTheRevelatorJR / Reddit

This is the stuff of nightmares. They look like they’re in some kind of professional photo studio, and I don’t understand what kind of professional thought this was a good idea.

Dude, please get off your knees and put a shirt on. You don’t need to get a headstart on this whole embarrassing dad thing.

OMG Is It Ice Ice Baby? That Is So Creative I Have Never Seen Anyone Do That Before!

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Photo Credit: mandaiore273 / Reddit

Yes, I can figure out the song lyric because you are the ten billionth couple on the internet to announce your pregnancy with this Vanilla Ice song.

There are so many songs with the word “baby” in them. Could you have picked any other song?

You Promised No Vomit

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Photo Credit: klc88 / Reddit

Let’s see this guy pull this face at every stage of her pregnancy. In the car on the way to the hospital, when her water breaks, when she goes into active labor and is in intense pain…

Sure he thinks it’s funny now, but months from now, not so funny. Keep reading for roaring pregnancy announcement nightmare.

A Christmas Miracle

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Photo Credit: @jbpitlove_ / Instagram

You know, if it wasn’t for the Snapchat caption, I may not have figured out what they were actually announcing.

People think that a chalkboard sign can make anything Pinterest-worthy. This is not Pinterest-worthy. Put your antlers away. Same goes for those Santa shorts, buddy.

Hey Mom, I’m On TV

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Photo Credit: [deleted] / Reddit

This is probably not the most personal way to tell your parents that you’re pregnant. Your mom doesn’t want to find out news that big at the same time as millions of other strangers.

Lady, set a good example for your unborn child and call your mother.

In The Jungle, The Mighty Jungle, Nobody Sleeps Tonight

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Photo Credit: jbeardsley / Reddit

This is actually terrifying. Are they having kittens? What is happening here? I love The Lion King as much as the next guy, but this is so OTT.

Also, “the circle of life” is from The Lion King but they painted themselves to look like cheetahs. Why? What am I missing? Read on for a couple who is putting their pumpkin carving talents to good use.

Less Than Enthusiastic

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Photo Credit: [deleted] / Reddit

I get that this is supposed to be a joke, but am seriously wondering if they’re going to be okay with another screaming mouth to feed. Dad’s face reveals a hint of real concern.

And again with the chalkboard signs? Just once can we get a Love Actually style paper sign? Or no sign at all?

Don’t Talk To Me Or My Son Ever Again

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Photo Credit: JamBug / Reddit

Yo, scary guy with the gun, nobody wants your baby. Please find some chill in your basic khakis. Put your gun away.

His wife looks way too happy for the life she’s chosen. For the baby’s sake, I hope she stays that happy.

Things Are About To Get Spooky

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Photo Credit: iBleedorange / Reddit

This fetus pumpkin is actually pretty impressive. Not that scary, though. You know what is scary? Squeezing a pumpkin-sized baby out of a fun-size hole.

What exactly is so fun about fun-size candy? It’s just less candy. That’s not fun at all. Read on to see the creepiest family in America— and they’re multiplying.

That’s Not A Salt Lick, Flicka, Move Along

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Photo Credit: ValiantSeprant / Reddit

This is a weird picture, but it would be a lot weirder if the woman was licking the horse’s pregnant belly. I’m just saying.

I hope that baby isn’t born with a horse tongue-shaped imprint on its face. That’s how pregnancy works, right? You put something on your belly, and the shape of it transfers onto the baby?

Somebody Toucha My Spaget

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Photo Credit: iBleedorange / Reddit

This is not an original joke. It’s not as bad as “Ice Ice Baby,” but I’ve seen it quite a few times on the internet.

In Italian, prego means “you’re welcome” or “don’t mention it.” I wonder if this picture is just confusing a bunch of well-meaning Italian people.

This Is A Very Good Pregnancy Announcement, Not Cringey At All, Just Information

Presented In The Best Possible Way

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Photo Credit: [deleted] / Reddit

I am very into everything this kid is wearing. Seriously, he looks amazing, he looks like he has a secret plan for his new sibling, and it’s not a very nice secret plan.

If the new baby ends up at the bottom of an old-timey farmhouse well, we can be pretty sure that this kid had something to do with it.

Two Heads Are Worse Than One, Apparently

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Photo Credit: iBleedorange / Reddit

I know having twins can be stressful, but do you really need to pretend you’re nauseous at the thought of two small people with your DNA?

If they were having triplets, then it would be acceptable to pretend to throw up. Keep reading for a meme that couldn’t get any worse (or so you thought).

You Came In Like A Wrecking Ball

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Photo Credit: therapist11 / Reddit

If she thinks that kid came in like a wrecking ball, just wait until it comes out.

This is actually a very creative Halloween costume. Props to you, pregnant lady, way to make the best out of a lukewarm situation. I kid, she’s probably very happy.

There Are No Mistakes, Just Happy Little Accidents

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Photo Credit: @tinnkky / Twitter

I’m impressed with this one. It’s almost excellent, even— except that this couple basically just announced to the world that their child wasn’t planned with a Bob Ross meme.

At least it’s creative. They get points for not including bags of ice or a can of pasta sauce.

This Ain’t Cute

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Photo Credit: Sjkyordanuise / Reddit

We get it, the dad has a belly. Please put it away now. If there isn’t a baby in it, I don’t want to see it. Even if there is a baby in it, I don’t want to see it.

All stomachs should remain clothed most of the time.

The Perfect Use Of BEDMAS

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Photo Credit: torturetrilogy / Reddit

Here we have it, folks, the classiest pregnancy announcement of them all. Step right up to see how to make your parents angry with a single click.

Post this to Facebook and hear about it at every Thanksgiving dinner from now until the end of time.