You never know if the devil reincarnated is walking among us. They might look just like you or me. They probably hold down a nice 9-5 job with health insurance, and go home to their family at night to watch the nightly news. They might even be your childhood best friend. But behind their normal persona, they’re secretly brewing a plan for world destruction.
It may start out small. You might notice them take a full-size bite out of a Kit Kat or passive-aggressively open every banana in the house. But before you know it, they’ve sprouted little red horns and are practicing their evil-genius speech in the mirror. Beware.
What To Do When You Realize Your Child Is Evil: A Guidebook
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Someone’s kid ripped every single label off the cans in their house. If you think this was a simple mistake and didn’t have any evil intentions, then you’re sorely mistaken.
Now all those times they maliciously sat there twisting the arm of a doll without blinking makes so much more sense.
How To Get Millennials Angry: 101
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People say millennials are lazy and unmotivated, but if there’s one way to get them to join your uprising, it’s by tricking them with fake power outlets. Nothing will get a group of millennials riled up this quick.
Whoever put this sticker there is just waiting for enough millennials to gather around the sticker so they can start a riot. A true evil genius.
As If College Students Aren’t Stressed Enough
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Most college professors mean well. But anyone who decided that taking out student loans was a good idea knows that there are a few truly evil profs out there. Most of them get off on curving your grade down 2%, but some of them are sadistic and make multiple choice tests like this.
Keep reading to see how your child’s preschool teacher could be one of the few people capable of world domination.
There’s A Fine Line Between Sibling Love And Evil Pranks
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The number one candidate for an ally-turned-enemy is your sibling. They know your weaknesses and your strengths. They grew up learning how to push your buttons, and they always manage to do it without mom finding out.
That zip tied present is the perfect way to distract you so that they can steal the family fortune.
The Ultimate Psychological Torture
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Half the battle of losing weight is mind over matter. Say no to cookies in the breakrooms, say yes to spending an hour at the gym instead of on the couch.
The person who bakes you delicious, ooey gooey brownies on the first day of your diet is no friend of yours. They’re trying to fatten you up so that you taste better when they kill you.
There Goes Five Hours Of My Day
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I firmly believe that a preschool teacher crafted this dog word search. They were probably fed up with their classroom of three-year-olds and needed to figure out the perfect way to distract and frustrate the kids for a few hours while they planned how to use an army of toddlers to take of the world.
Continue reading to find out why bananas are the chosen fruit for world domination.
So This Person Doesn’t Want Us To Sleep At Night
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I honestly don’t know what I’d do if I got home and realized one of my bananas has a threatening message on it. I’m a skeptical person, but this would easily make me believe in ghosts.
This is an impressive way to make your enemy be paranoid in their own home.
Apparently, Psychopaths Have A Thing For Bananas
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I think this might be even worse than finding a threatening message. If you find a message, you have no idea if it’s an enemy, ghost, or just coincidence.
If you come home to find that your own offspring deliberately ruined a full bundle of bananas, then you need to start sleeping with one eye open.
Missed Opportunity To Call It ‘Impuzzibles’
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Seriously? You go through all the time, effort, and logistics to make a puzzle with no edges and extra pieces just to mess with people, why wouldn’t you take the opportunity to give it a clever name? The problem with evil geniuses nowadays is they’re as bad at naming things as historians.
Keep reading to see definitive proof that aliens don’t know how to eat chocolate bars.
When Your Friend Is Dating Your Sister And They Want To Make Sure You Have Nightmares For Life
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One guy received this gift from his sister and “friend” who are now dating. I have to say, if one of your “friends” does this to you, then they’re really an enemy.
I could accept that they’re dating a member of my family, but I don’t need photographic evidence that your tongues touch. This would scar me for life.
Eau De Fromage
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This person replaced their roommate’s fancy soap with a block of fancy cheese, and it’s honestly sadistic. It may not sound that bad, but have you ever touched a wet brick of cheese? There’s no way to describe how gross it feels.
And just imagine rubbing cheese all over your body. This is gag-worthy.
If Someone Bites A Kit Kat Bar Like This, There’s A 99% Chance They’re An Alien
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If you know someone who eats a Kit Kat bar like this, you have to ask yourself: do you really know this person? They clearly have no idea how to function as a normal human being in society. There’s a good chance that they’re an alien masquerading as a human to find our weaknesses so that they can take over Earth.
Coming up, if you think your coworker might be the devil reincarnated, then you’re not alone.
This Is Just Straight Up Disrespectful
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This persona’s little brother decided to eat every single mini cupcake, which is bad enough. But they wiped off the frosting and left it there to taunt their sibling.
This is a double whammy. Not only are they trying to establish dominance by leaving this warning, but what kind of psycho doesn’t eat the frosting?
Maybe They’ll Taste Like Thin Mints?
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Toothpaste in Oreos is the quickest way to disrespect a pillar of American society, but it might not be as bad as we think. If you bite into Oreos, you’ll be shocked, but it probably won’t be that bad.
If you twist and lick, then this is one of the worst things that could happen to you in your entire life.
No One Needs This Type Of Negativity In Their Life
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Everyone has a coworker they hate. They are the ones who work out at 6 AM, come into the office early, and say “you must have a case of the Mondays!” Shut up, Kevin. They also do stuff like fill Krispy Kreme boxes with vegetables. They’re not the type of people you want in your life.
The person coming up has figured out a simple way to turn friends against each other.
Unless There’s A Cash Prize, It’s Not Worth It
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There is some strange, unwritten knowledge that a toenail is so much worse than a fingernail. Yes, finding a fingernail is gross, but toenails are always overgrown and have a higher chance of being infected with nasty toe fungus.
Whoever made this cake did it to test your wits. They want to see how far they can push you before you break. If this was me, I’d crumble right away.
Good To Know Your House Contractor Is The Antichrist
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This hidden stair was definitely built with the intention of fatally injuring someone. When you think about it, it’s a perfect crime. Your house contractor “accidentally” forgets to carpet the last stair. You lure your ex-husband down the stairs, and when they fall and hit their head, the fortune is yours.
Not even NBC’s Dateline could figure this one out.
Pitting Friends Against Each Other
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Anyone knows the easiest way to get a leg up on your evil plans is to make people fight each other. Pit friend against friend and you’ve won the war without firing a shot.
This evil genius is already testing their world domination strategy on their cats, so we should all be on high alert.
I Thought Pizza Was Supposed To Represent Everything Good In Life
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Just imagine using all your willpower to resist the “Happy First Day Of Your Diet” brownies, and then showing up to find out your local Weight Watchers is right beside a Little Caesars.
If this doesn’t prove that Little Caesars is in the pocket of evil geniuses, I don’t know what does.
The Only Way To Anger Introverts
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We already figured out how to rally the millennial troops, but what about building an army of awkward introverts? For any up-and-coming psychopath, introverts are an untapped market of human power.
One way to cause outrage and anger is to write the plot twist of books on the title page. If you do this, they’ll finally start speaking out and rebelling against society.