Normally I don’t regard cheaters in a very high light.
However, I’m always interested in hearing their reasons why they’re cheating.
Are they unhappy?
Was it just an accident?
Well, we’re about to find out.
Here are some of the reasons why people cheat.
I’ve been a cheater in most relationships I’ve had, and as a result, a self-hater for most relationships. I’ve been through therapy for about 8 years for other reasons and what I’ve come to learn is that I didn’t feel I deserved love, affection, or appreciation. This stems from a whole host of other things from my childhood (sexual abuse, lack of fatherly relationship, latchkey kid, etc).
I treated relationships as though they were temporary even though they lasted for years. I’m a good looking guy so lots of women offer up temptation that I found difficult to reject. And each time, I hated myself for my indiscretions. I also picked relationships that were bad for me–cheater girlfriends, terrible communicators, insecure women, etc.
Then I met the girl of my dreams. I was so into her from day one that I immediately shut down all of my other options. I told other women I was dating that I was happy and done dating around. I shut down a non-committed long-distance relationship as well. I was really, really in love. Then I found out she was cheating on me. I can’t describe the heartbreak and betrayal I felt. This sent me into a downward spiral of emotional hell. Through therapy, I was able to get back on track, appreciate myself more, and find a girl who is absolutely perfect for me. I do still feel urges to cheat sometimes, but my unwillingness to hurt her saves me. Part of my self-hatred stems from not doing the right thing. Each time I do the right thing, I feel a sense of pride, and it makes me feel worthy of the love I receive. A positive cycle.
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