All mothers know that having a child is not bliss and that there are going to be plenty of awkward moments. With that said, here are some outrageous stories from ScaryMommy.com that all mothers probably relate to at some point of their motherhood. Check it out:
1. Taking care of that hunger.
I just picked an Oreo crumb off my shirt and ate it. Except it wasn’t an Oreo crumb. It was a tiny poop pellet from my son’s diaper. Oddly, I wasn’t all that disgusted. I’ve been a Mom for a long time.
2. Not every patch was cared for.
Took a bubble bath, shaved my stuff, and put on a teeny tiny nighty for my hubby. He was so turned on that he pulled me close for a passionate kiss. As he ran his fingers through my hair, two small Legos fell out.
My husband thinks the charger for the remote control helicopter is missing. It is missing. At the dump many months ago when I was pregnant and annoyed.
4. That’s disgusting.
I have leg hair older than my toddler.
5. Setting a good example.
I make my daughter healthy smoothies with kale, spinach, and fruit. I put far fewer greens in mine. And I add ice cream. LOTS of ice cream.
6. I do too!
I have a special fancy butter knife that I use only to eat frosting straight out of the can.
7. Even when they don’t deserve it.
Sometimes I put my kids in time out even when they weren’t being that bad or I know it wasn’t their fault, just to have a moment of silence.
8. Good choice.
If somebody gives my kids a toy that makes noise but doesn’t have an on/off switch, I donate it.
9. It’s exhausting!
I am so boring that today I fell asleep while masturbating.
10. Wait until they’re all gone.
My toddler is currently eating Lucky Charms from underneath the couch. At least she’s eating something.
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