Relationships can be difficult and if the flame dies, it can be even worse. So, when these Reddit users share about how they are not having sex with their partners anymore, many people can relate to what they are going through. Often times it is a matter of communication or working through the changes that life brings but sometimes it means that the two are no longer compatible anymore and it’s time to move on. Here are their stories:
1. Kids always put a damper on sexual activity – (HooperDrivesChief8).
We have three kids and live in a small house. I work two jobs. She works one. We both team up to take care of the housework and running the kids to this activity and that activity. But besides not having the time or energy, we’re in our 40’s and my wife has become less interested in having sex. We’d rather catch up on a show we never get to watch. We haven’t had sex in a couple of years but not a day goes by we don’t hug and kiss each other and say I love you. I don’t know. We’re best friends busting our butts raising kids, paying bills and doing our best to keep our heads above water.
2. Physical changes have a lot to do with it – (MiffysBirthday).
Low testosterone. It’s slowly taken away his sex drive and has altered him a lot physically and mentally. Our sex life ground to a halt a couple years ago, not long after we got married. However, we’re still happy together and in love and I’m supporting him through it. The desire for a baby seems to be giving him some of his spark back so I think we’re on the up.
3. For better or for worse – (yungshin).
We’re both 58 and we’ll be married 38 years in July. Our last intimate encounter took place in August 2002. She was diagnosed with a mental illness after almost successfully committing suicide. She was prescribed several medications that resulted in multiple health issues and is completely asexual. She took care of me and the children in our younger days when I was in the military and frequently deployed. It’s my time to take care of her. She understands I still have needs and would probably look the other way, but I keep my promises.
4. The flame has died – (MasterPip).
12 years married. We’re very compatible together in every way but that one. I don’t know what happened. She claims she just doesn’t have much drive any more. In the span of one year, we had sex one time. And at the one year point, I was gutted emotionally and had almost completely disengaged I just hit 6 years married. It all stopped after the baby. We will go months without it. Here and there she will be in the mood, but usually when I’m on the brink of passing out at bedtime (I think she gives in just to get me to stay up later). Lately I actually reject her because I’m tired of being tired. I get up super early for work (345am)
I have grown tired of trying. Right now I’m happy with us except that. Probably once a year she gets into this kink mode for a couple days and it’s great. Then it just stops.
I’ve told her on plenty of occasions that she never used to be like this, only to be told she always has been low libido (not true). It sucks because everything else in the relationship is great. But I feel like if I can’t have a happy healthy sex life, it’s a major problem and I’m at a loss for how to address it anymore. I absolutely do not want a divorce, but this isn’t going away. I really just don’t know what to do anymore. Every relationship is complex with different dynamics.